Apparently, the fly from Wednesday has unhinged pandora's box for Addison. We never did manage to kill the small pest, and this Methuselah of all flies has been periodically terrorizing one small boy in the Holloway household for the past two days. This morning, in particular, I was washing up the breakfast dishes while Addison enjoyed a cup of milk (yes, a cup, not a bottle). All of sudden the same shrieking that pulled me away from my blogging the other day interrupted my washing reverie. In response, we've been trying to help Addison with his fear of the fly by showing him how to bat at it and say, "Shoo, fly. Go away!" He laughs hysterically until the fly reappears and then all the fun is forgotten.
Later this morning I took Addison to get a much needed haircut. After the morning's antics, I was a bit pessimistic that this outing would end well. My suspicions proved justified. Although Addison has had numerous haircuts before, as of late he has developed a fear of the stranger with the scissors and most especially the buzzer. He never even made it to being fully smocked. I apologized to the lady with the maroon and black hair and said, "We'll try another time."
While these episodes are, I'm sure, humorous for you to read about, they have not been so funny to experience. However, in the absence of comic relief on my way home from the failed barbering attempt, I began to contemplate the lesson staring me in the face -- the lesson for me to learn from my young son. As many of you know, I had a lot fear in coming to Aberdeen. My number one fear was loneliness. The prospect of trying to survive in a foreign country in a strange house with a toddler all day long sent shudders through my spine. How would I ever find friends? How could anyone understand what it's like to pick up and leave
everything? It was the kind of fear that made my stomach sick and my heart ache. And then I think about Addison and what he does when he is afraid. He cries out for me, and I scoop him up and hold his shaking body. He lays his head on my shoulder, wraps his arms around my neck and hugs his legs to my body. And then he settles. Why do I have such a hard time doing this to God? My fears are every bit as irrational as Addison's fear of a fly or the hairdresser's shears, and yet
my instinct is to grit my teeth, pull myself up by my boot straps, and muscle through. Where is my childlike dependence on God? Why do I struggle so with throwing myself into the arms of the One who loves me like I were His only child?
It never ceases to amaze me how much our children teach us, sometimes lessons far more profound than what we teach them. What to do about the fly and the barber? I don't know. We'll figure something out. In the meantime, Daddy will cut Addison's hair in the bathtub, and we'll invest in a decent fly swatter. And I will continue to ponder the meaning of it all.